Good morning! Hey, quick question…When did a 41 year old woman buying a dollhouse…for herself…become a good idea?
|I call them my "blog tools,"|
my daughter calls them my toys,
hubby calls them a waste of money.
OK, yes I’m a big kid! Yes, I still “play” with my inner child now and then. But…a dollhouse and dolls with plans to expand my tiny Kingdom with add-on play-sets and furniture…What the heck, dude!?!
Then it hit me as I was sitting back in my chair looking over my collection of re-built childhood wonder….The drugs made me do it!
A few years ago, my Father dated a very nice woman who happened to have Parkinson’s Disease…and a house full of QVC bargains. It turned out that one of the side-effects of a med she had been on briefly was compulsive shopping. (No flippin’ joke!) Even one of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster, repeatedly writes about her Ambien-induced shopping sprees.
This got me to thinking…one of my pain meds that Doc A+ has backed me off of (about 1/3 of the dose I had been on) was infamous for making people a bit “foggy-headed.” I always assumed the effects were pretty mild after that first “burst” of “stupid.” After that? I was cool! Or maybe not-so-much…
Could it also have lowered my inhibitions just enough to stop that inner voice that cries out, “BAD idea!” when I’m on the Toy Aisle at Wal-Mart? (And what the hell was I doing on the Toy Aisle anyway? My youngest is almost 18! And a male-child. And I’m looking at dolls!)
|A few of my e-Bay treasures.|
They all seemed like such good
ideas at the time...
Really, I have been doing MUCH better the last few weeks. No early-morning music-buying bonanza. (iTunes, you SUCK! All that music at the click of a button. You’re an enabler!) No secret afternoon book-download-a-thon. (Amazon, you suck too! Same reason…next.) No e-Baying it. No three-hour city-wide search for a Monster High doll! (Yep. That one REALLY happened. *shame-faced sigh*) My inner voice has been loud-and-clear about NOT spending money needlessly. (My hubby is so proud!)
So this got me thinking…what else can I blame on the drugs? Oh I know! It’s not my fault that I’m an opinionated loud-mouth; it’s the drugs shorting-out the whole “shut-up-NOW” chip! It’s not my fault that I dress like a homeless, color-blind chick from 1969; the drugs impair my ability to dress myself. (It’s not my fault I’m incapable of writing a short post, the drugs make it impossible to think in a linear, concise manner.)
So there ya have it! Mystery solved…Deep down inside (VERY DEEP) I’m really a quiet, soft-spoken, logical, demur individual with exactly the amount of wisdom and common sense my family is convinced I DON’T have! *falls over laughing at this* (I can’t even type this stuff with a straight face!)
I may be the owner of a cute little dollhouse (that I will play with proudly…in private…behind locked doors…) but at least I now have the perfect excuse for all of my more “questionable” behavior… And I vow to use it to the fullest extent of my being.
|See? It's NOT my fault!|
Yes, I will ride that horse ‘til it drops. Then I will beat that dead horse until my family threatened to duct tape my mouth closed if I say it one more time…To which I will say, “I’m sorry guys. I just can’t help it…the drugs made me do it!”
And then I’ll run (or limp) as fast as I can while they’re finding the duct tape!
May your day be filled with lots of laughter, no shopping sprees, and the presence of mind to hide the duct tape BEFORE annoying the be-jeepers outta your family!