|Fight the enemy!|
Good morning! News flash- I’m in grave danger of being replaced! This? Requires immediate action! I need to find a cheap (read as “free”) housekeeper STAT!
Yesterday evening, hubby and our youngest were working in the backyard. I decided I would be gracious enough to voluntarily leave my beloved, climate-controlled nest to show my love and support by checking on them. Our conversation started with our usual “Nick and Nora Charles” routine...
|Nick and Nora Charles|
(William Powell and Myrna Loy
in the 1939 film
Another Thin Man)
(OK, quadruple Bonus points to anyone who got the Thin Man reference! If you didn’t, hit the local Library or Netflix! These movies are awesome with a capital GREAT!) (I always thought they were the perfect couple, even though after forcing the offspring to sit through the original, they informed me the Charles’ did NOT have a great marriage, they were just liquored-up to realize it. So, negative points for the offspring!)
(OK, back to my tale of woe…) As I was saying, after our standard banter, I made the comment that hubby was probably on the look-out for a replacement who was a better housekeeper. In UNISON! the two of them said, “That wouldn’t be hard.” Then smiled. (They actually SMILED at that stement!)
Their words cut like a knife to my very heart! Have they failed to realize what a sacrifice I make for them? I mean, let’s look at the facts…
1) The beautiful color the patina (inch thick layer) of dust adds goes perfect with our wall color. But, do I go out and buy a whole new set of furniture in that lovely gray-blah color? No! I am simply very careful not to move anything that would expose a dust-ring, thus creating the illusion that our furniture is already that color. (See honey, I’m saving you money! And that’s a good thing!)
2) I am not “not dusting,” I’m strengthening my family’s immune system! I mean, there’s got to be all manner of pollen, pet dander, potential plague “bugs” that have floated in from the Amazonian Rain Forest (hey, I watched the movies about this stuff!), and even Alien spores (I watch the X-Files too!) existing in that fine (inch thick) layer of dust. By living in close contact with this gnarly stuff, their bodies are slowly building up a tolerance! (See why I make the sacrifice and force myself NOT to dust? Because I CARE!)
3) I’m improving their reaction time. Every time I don’t pick up or sweep, I create “road hazards” and obstacles on their trip through the house. If you’re not aware that I left that laundry basket in the dark hall, you’re gonna have to think fast on your feet when you trip over it! The same with the pile of old magazines I left dangerously close to the full glass of soda on the table…right on the edge...(It’s all about the hand-eye-foot coordination, baby!)
|Ummm...this used to be my desk.|
Maybe it is time to actually clean
around here...*embarrassed sigh*
4) I keep life from getting boring and the kids from getting lazy. I mean, how easy would it be if they always knew where their clean laundry was? If I put things where they belonged, then all anyone would ever have to do would be to walk over and get the item they wanted. BOR-ING! It’s MUCH more fun when you have to see-and-find something you want! Plus? I’m teaching the kids to fend for themselves by NOT making it so easy…(Go! Forage for your wants and needs!)
5) And lastly, I’m helping the offspring with those critical thinking skills. Let’s face it, there’s no thought process needed when you want a bowl of cereal and all you need to do is grab a clean bowl and spoon. But…if there aren’t any clean dishes, now what? You think outside the box! Why, just two days ago my youngest informed me it is possible, but no efficient to eat cereal with a fork. Do you think he would have ever made that discovery if I’d done the dishes the night before? Nope! (I’m helping all of humanity here with this critical thinking thing…who knows, one of them could grow up to find a cure for one of the Amazonian Plagues living in the dust on my TV stand!)
So there you have it! Some of the many ways that stifling my natural urges to dust and sacraficing a clean and well-ordered household, is doing an invaluable service for my family. And it’s all done out of love! (NOT lazy!)
So the next time your spouse (or Mother) starts giving you grief about the “state” of things, feel free to borrow from this list to show them how much you’re giving up to help them!
(Now…if anyone knows the name of a good, cheap cleaning service, I would be ever-so grateful!)
May your day be filled with a house full of laughter (and possibly dust), the ability to find the brighter side of NOT cleaning, and a family that loves you enough to jump in and help! (Yes, family-o-mine! That IS a flippin’ hint!)