Good morning! OK, so I NEED your opinion. (Yes, AGAIN! Deal with it!) I had this totally, amazingly AWESOME idea for a new career…Life Mom! What do ya think?
This morning I told my hubby that someone somewhere was trying to tell me something, since the last couple of days I’ve been “meeting” quite a few people on various and sundry social media thingies who are Life Coaches. “What does that even mean, honey?”
“I don’t know.” This is where I got the standard eye-roll-sigh, because he knows something “not good” is coming. But he was cool and played along anyway. “What does a Life Coach do, exactly?”
“Ummm…I don’t know. Follow you around with a whistle and call, “FOUL!” when you screw up?” I got the blank-stare. ”OK, I got it. They tell you how you’re screwing up and teach you crap like how not to spend all your hubby’s hard-earned money.” Yeah, this last comment was made while raiding his wallet.
“Sure. Maybe you should look into it then. Not like they could really do much with you in THAT area though.” That may or may not have been when I returned his wallet by sort-of-accidently tossing it at his head. (He caught it though, so it was all good.)
After he left for work, I figured I’d kill some time and look it up. I was partially right, since money management is one of the things they help with. They also seem to help with getting your shiz-nit together, learning how to have healthy relationships, and basically help you be a responsible, functioning adult member of society.
|Never leave me unattended|
with construction paper
and Duct tape!
THAT’S when it hit me! They’re like Moms, only they’re supposed to be all nicey-nice and supportive about it. Why not create a new niche for those peoples who NEED the nagging, fussing Mommy in their life to get their booties in gear? I will become a Life Mom!
Just think about it a minute. You have problems managing money? “What? Did you think money was just going to grow on a tree for you to use to pay your bills? You wouldn’t be in this situation if you’d been saving part of your check like I TOLD you to do! That CD you bought for $11.00? You could have listened to the radio for free and then you’d be $11.00 closer to paying your bill, wouldn’t you!?!” (Can you tell this was a familiar occurrence in my younger years? Oh yeah!)
Have problems with relationships? “You know, if you’d just listened to me when I told you that girl/guy was trouble, you wouldn’t BE in this situation! How is it I could line up 19 decent people and 1 looser in a room and you’d somehow manage to pick the looser every last time? What am I going to DO with you!?!”
Have trouble getting motivated? (This one is said as I’m pulling the cover off “client” and/or following them around their domicile.) “OK, time to get your rear in gear, Mister/Missy. After all, there ARE no free rides! What? You think I’m going to be around to take care of you forever? I don’t THINK so! You need to get your act together, young lady/man. You need to learn to do all this stuff for yourself. Why, when I was your age I was already working full time, raising a family, keeping up with all the housework AND doing charity work on the weekends. You’re just wasting your life away…”
OK, I’m thinking you get the idea, and I’m getting SERIOUSLY creeped out at how well I can apparently channel my Mother…*hard shiver*
So…what do you think? After all, I think I’d personally respond faster if it would just shut…my…Mom…UP!
I guess if the whole Life Mom thing didn’t work I could try Life Cheerleader. I’m pretty sure the vision of me in a cheerleader’s outfit, complete with pom-poms and screaming, “Go YOU! You can DO it! Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? You! You! YOU!!!!!!” THAT? Would scare anyone in their right mind onto the “straight and narrow”!
Oh yeah. I’m SO digging this…now, where is my sewing machine, since I don’t think they make those cute skirts in my size…
May your day be filled with all the motivation you need, happy memories of your Moms, and a distinct LACK of me in a cheerleader uniform!