Good morning! Yesterday evening I did this awesomely hot little mambo number in a dance-off with the Rain God…and lost! But it really wasn’t my fault; the dirty cheater had better music to dance to and an unfair advantage, since he is a God and all.
I know I’m preaching to the choir (unless you’re living in Florida) about the current drought and weather insanity, when I say it needs to RAIN! So when the thunder started and the sky turned an abnormal shade of black for 4:00 in the afternoon, I was excited beyond words.
My conundrum…(That? Is yet another word that is just plain fun to say…conundrum. *falls over laughing at own goofiness while repeatedly saying connnnn-un-DRUM*)…I had just hung two loads of laundry on the clothesline.
OK, for those of you unfamiliar with clothesline etiquette and the rules of weather, here’s the deal-ee-o; if you leave clothes on the line and there’s a rain cloud within 100 miles, it will find your clothes and re-soak them, dragging them from the line into the mud if at all possible. If there’s a 100% chance of rain and you rush to remove your clothing? The Rain God will laugh at your valiant efforts and pass you by. He’s such an ass he’ll even rain on every other yard in your neighborhood, leaving you now-empty line dry as a bone.
This whole empty line VS soaked clothes thing can and will become the epitome of a Mexican Standoff.
So there I stood on the porch, wind actually moving my gel-cemented, spikey hair as the ground shook with thunder and the skies churned. (They really were friggin’ churning! Man, it was awesome in a really “Is this gonna turn into a Twister scenario?” kinda way.) I was so torn as to what to do. We NEED the rain, but I also NEED clean, non-mud-splattered clothing… I just KNEW that if I cleared the line, it would pass over us. Knew it!
I think the trees playing along with Mr. Frost and bending to left and right across lines of straighter darker trees…that kinda spurred me on to grab the laundry basket and The Girl. Together we cleared the line in seconds flat and made it in the just in time…
...Just in time to watch the wind die down, the thunder roll into silence, and the clouds pull a Proud Mary and keep on rollin’…right into the next township. And all this without dropping a single flippin’ drop of moisture!
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| This? Is our grass... or at least it was a few years ago. |
Folks living ten miles away were blessed with a much-needed soaking. Hubby, working less than five miles away, had done his part to call the Rain God and left his car window down. By the time he got home, his behind was as soaked as the laundry was not, seeing as it had rained cats and dogs at his place of employment!
So to all the folks living in my neck of the woods, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. It is solely my fault that the rains passed us by last night. I promise, I will never remove the clothes ever again, when faced with the possibility of rain. Heck, I’ll even hang clean, dry clothes up next time it looks like a bit of a shower could occur! And I now understand, my lackadaisical (another hilariously fun word to say) laundry habits may actually be the root cause of the drought. *hangs head in shame*
As for you, Mr. Rain God, I am forced to say, “Well played, sir. Well played…”
May your day be filled with all the weather patterns your neck of the woods needs for a pleasant day! And also? If you live anywhere near Central Indiana and have knowledge of how to get grass to grow from a friggin’ rock, you could make a mint next Spring, since we’re all on water lock-down and everyone’s lawns now look like ours…DOA.
