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| My "Super Model" face. WARNING: Umm...if you're gonna give yourself a mascara goatee, make sure it's NOT water-proof. Also? Hair gel and cotton-balls do not come off your eyebrows easily. Just sayin'... |
Rule #1 of Super Model on sabbatical, no plucking! My eyebrows are gonna end up looking like Brooke Shields and the late-great Ernest Borgnine had a love child, and I am TOTALLY cool with that! When the weight of the darned things causes then to droop down over my eyes, I’ll use bobby-pins to hold them back. (Actually, they’ll come in handy as a sun block/self-contained shade “tree.” Bonus!)
Rule #2, no waxing! That’s right, I’m gonna end up with a mustache and goatee to rival Burl Ives! (OK, for all of you who have no clue who that last guy is? Think the Snowman narrator from “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Younglings!) I will be forced to invest in a mustache comb to keep it laying straight and crumb free. (Honestly? I’m just glad my facial hair is as blonde as my Sasquatch arm-hair!)
Rule #3, I will not lift a finger to wait on myself! (Like I do that now anyway? Pfft! I’ll just have a better excuse today.) I shall lounge upon my couch-throne and summon offspring to run-and-fetch me sodas, chips, and chocolate. (Hey! I’m on sabbatical! I don’t have to watch my weight.)
Rule #4, today I am She-Who-OWNS-The-Remote. Yes, being a Super Model and all, I get to call the shots on what horrible programming is ingested. And trust me, it WILL be horrible, since I’m thinking an “Evil Dead” marathon is in order…*insert evil Snidely Whiplash type laughter here complete with the whole hand-wringing thing*
Last, but oh, so NOT least, Rule #5…Everyone WILL treat me like the Super Model Goddess I am. Oh yeah, that’s right baby! There will be feet rubed, pillows fluffed, and floors strewn with rose petals for my delicate feet to tread upon on my way to the potty, since that’s the ONLY thing I intend to do for myself today. (And trust me on this, if I could appoint a proxy for this one, I SO would!)
And before anyone else makes a smarty-pants comment, yes! Super Models on sabbatical do too wear pink, floral-print Tinkerbell jammies! (If you have any proof what-so-ever to the contrary, feel free to present it. Until then? I’m right and you’re wrong. Hah!)
This, my friends…is my dream for the day. Because, ya know…it’s about the bestest vacation I’m going to get for a while, so I might as well immerse myself in it and enjoy the be-jeepers out of it!
Oh, and just in case anyone is thinking doubtful thoughts on this, today’s make-believe is totally NOT because I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and happened to notice I was in dire need of a bit of personal grooming attention. Nope! You’re SO far off-base with that…
May your day be filled with proper Super Model appreciation, people tripping over themselves to adore you, and absolutely NO unwanted facial hair!
