Good morning! Welcome to the Stress-Zone my friends! Back to school time, off to College time, and just general time-of-year bonanza. (Just bring it Life, ‘cause we can take it!!! BWAAAA HAAAA HAAAA!!!)
Sorry about the mini melt-down there. I’m better now.
*clears throat so as to sound more together and all adult like and stuff* I have happened to notice that quite a few of my friends currently appear to be under tremendous amounts of stress. Doesn’t matter if it’s the kids-n-school thing or (like my dumbass) self-imposed pressures. EVERYBODY stresses…(unless you were born without a functioning adrenal gland, and that’s a whole world of other problems…just sayin’)
Anyway, I figured with it being Friday I’d just do a list of FUN ways to blow off some stress-steam. Here goes nothin'. (Or a possibly a Law Suit. Either way, hopefully it'll be should be interesting...)
*Top Ten Ways To Release The Stress-Beast:
Oh, and you’re welcome.
|Correct position gets you a hug.|
WRONG position? Your next shower, I'm starting a load of laundry!
The double bonus of this one is, not only will talking calm you down, but when others see you chatting with you tag-a-long pal they will do ANYTHING in the WORLD to make you happy and get you the heck outta their environment! Bull-yeah!
3) (OK, this one is kinda specific to folks that use walking aids, but hey! Keep it in mind for future necessity.) Paint your cane- Lately I’ve caught myself fighting the urge to play whack-a-mole with folks that cut me off in public situations. No, I don’t move very fast and I tend to wander aimlessly, but when you swerve in front of my distracted self, body-collisions are bound to occur. Factor in I’m carrying a purple, sparkly potential-weapon-of-bludgeoning and things can get STRESSFUL!
I decided to use some art therapy to aid in the whole public safety thing. I painted my cane with a personal message that makes me smile. (Ah…smiling is GOOD!) Also? If I play whack-a-dork now, I could mess-up my lovely art work. (Yep! Always thinking about safety first!)
4) Create your own space- Every article I’ve ever read about de-stressing your life talks about creating your own space. Just a place you can go to feel at peace and no one else’s tastes in décor are factored in. All you, all the time.
So yesterday I cleaned off the desk (and even have pictures to prove it) and reclaimed my rightful spot, returning the dining room table to mealtimes. I also claimed my end of the couch, my side of the bed, my footrest, my chair for piling-stuff-on-it-for-storage, my chair for lounging, and my window ledge for sitting my diet Dr. Pepper and e-reader. (It’s mine peoples…ALL MINE!!!) And ya know? I DO feel much better. *falls over in fit of giggles*
5) Destroy something in the digital realm- OK, I am NOT the biggest fan of video games. Sorry, but those stupid controllers have like 50 different buttons and a freakin’ MILLION different combos to hit just to MOVE in a game. But then…*insert angelic choir music here* I found the Angry Birds type of games! (I will say, I prefer the Cannon Rats, cellphone knock-off, but that’s just me.)
There is nothing more relaxing than sitting in MY SPACE on the couch and destroying cute little digital critters! I scream at them, I point and laugh at them. I have even broken into applause at their virtual deaths. And I can play the same level for days on end, since I suck at these stupid things. But hey, it adds YEARS to the life of the game!
|What a great friend!|
Mr. Hand offering me a
spoon full 'o goodness.
6) Mocha Cappuccino Hazelnut Spread- I am NOT promoting stress-related eating. (I don’t HAVE to promote it…it promotes itself just fine without me.)
I’ll just say this, when it gets all stress-y and you’re about to say something really BAD, pop a spoon of this gift-from-the-Gods in your mouth and two things will happen. First, you’ll be WAY too happy to be scream-y at anyone. Second, your mouth will be effectively sealed shut for the five minutes it’ll take it to melt, during which time you’ll have de-stressed because of the first thing that’ll happen.
7) Dance- Look, it doesn’t matter if you’re Baryshnikov or live with two left feet and 15 toes, dancing is a GREAT tension buster. (Especially if you’re in public.)
Think about it this way, you start randomly dancing and either the looks on people’s faces are gonna crack you the fudge-nuts up, or their thunderous applause will make you too happy to remember to be unhappy. (Also, embarrassing family members is a great way to blow off a little steam.) Win-win!
8) Fart machines- This method is most effective in restaurant settings. Enough said.
9) Sing- This one is here for the same reasons as #8. (It’s also on here cause I’m running out of ideas, but that is TOTALLY beside the point, so just forget I mentioned it.)
10) Skipping stones- We all remember from childhood how relaxing an afternoon of skipping stones on a tranquil pond can be. (For us, probably not so much for the fishies and other pond dwellers. But, I digress..)
What? You don’t have ready access to a pond? No problem! I know from personal experience that you can actually skip stones on dirt, a parking lot, and people’s heads. (This last one? Can be BEYOND stress and tension relieving!)
I hope you’ve found at least a few items on here to help with whatever is binding your boxers (or braziers) and that they may help lead you to a more relaxing day!
* If you actually do any of these things and they result in an arrest, family feud, or involuntary commital…then, ummm…I was just jokin’! Yeah, that’s it! Just jokin’…