Good morning! You guys are in for a RARE treat today…*insert creepy little giggle here* This is the 8th (you read that right, 8th!) post I’ve started so far and I’m not even sure it’s gonna get finished. Welcome to Out of Focus Day!
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the point on the arc of our Mood Swing where thoughts race by so quickly you’ll get whiplash if you try to watch. It’s that magical place where the images and sounds are whirring at such high speeds they simply blend together until they become white noise, leaving you sitting in front of a blinking computer screen, wondering what to write about while drooling on yourself!
This, my friends, is mental overdrive! (Technically known as “Racing Thoughts.” But I like mine better…)
(You know, for sharing my awesome art work!)
Oh, I’m NOT empty headed this morning or suffering from the dreaded Writer’s Block. It’s the exact polar opposite. My neurons are firing so fast I’m unable to separate just one thought out of the herd, leaving me in a state of apparent vapid distraction.
This is the side of Bipolar no one really thinks about. Everyone’s familiar with the image of a manic high where the person is running around like a crack-crazed monkey on industrial strength coffee. Or even the Lows so low, well…you can come up with your own analogy for that one. (I don’t have it in me to crack jokes about depression of any kind. It’s just not funny.) But what few people realize is that a lot of the manic swing can actually occur INSIDE your head!
When the definition said “racing thoughts” it wasn’t freakin’ kidding! Those suckers book it like Time Trials at the Indy 500…and they ALL bring their friends! It’s like I’ve got a 3X Speed Kegger goin’ on up there!
Today will be that day when someone will ask me, “How are you today?” and I’ll look at them with slightly unfocussed eyes, mouth hanging slightly ajar, concentrate REALLY hard and come back with the amazing response, “Uh…K.” Because as soon as I anticipate their question, 50 different responses ranging from smart-ass to almost intelligent with immediately manifest in my brain and begin jumping up-and-down in a mental mosh pit, while waving their arms and screaming, “Pick me! Pick me!”
Or worse yet, I’ll end up answering something like, “Fine. My butt his kinda sore…not really my butt but my hip…you know that REALLY wasn’t a picture of my butt, but it looked…do we have any chocolate because I would KILL for…Oh! I taped that show on the DVR last night I should…I’m craving chicken. Isn’t that weird…are you thirsty?” (I think I prefer the, “Uh…K.” answer myself. *grin*)
Please forgive me today if I create an Epic Fail in making a point. I guess I just wanted to share with y’all the fact that there is more to this little slice of AWESOME than the not-so-cool down times. (Since, ya know…that’s the only part I’ve ever really discussed.)
So, in closing (at least I’m fairly sure it’s in closing) today I will start 20 different projects, yet finish none. I will eat my weight in chocolate and bad-for-me sugar, yet forget to eat a single meal. I will poor three different glasses of liquid because I will have forgotten I’ve already poured one, let alone two. I will alternate between introverted (read “introverted” as “SERIOUSLY distracted”) thoughts and what my Mom used to call “motor mouth,” yet I will for the most part fail to make sense to anyone but myself.
These things I vow! (Plus a few hundred others…Now, where’d I put my Cocoa Crispies?)