Sunday, August 5, 2012

Dictionary Of Newly Discovered Words

 Good morning! My daughter has inspired me again. I’m going to start me own freakin’ dictionary!
 This past week I remembered that a friend had submitted a term to the Urban Dictionary and they accepted it. Psyched by her success, I decided I would submit “foongers” since it has entered into common use in our home. (I swear you should SEE The Boy’s toes! You would TOTALLY understand!)
 I filled out the little form thingy and waited patiently…for my REJECTION! *insert long string of colorful language ending with “stupid idiots wouldn’t know real creativity if it bit them on the” and more colorful language*
 Then yesterday, as I was using yet another of my made-up (although I prefer “newly discovered”) words that has entered our family’s lexicon The Girl looked at me and said, “Why don’t you just write your own Dictionary. You make-up enough words for one.”
 I’m still not sure if that last part of her statement was spoken as an insult or in admiration…Either way, it sounded like an awesome idea! (I’m thinking Sunday in a fine day to start as official weekly Dictionary entry.) So here goes…
 foongers: foot-fingers, freakishly long finger-like toes

Yes, he was sleeping.
And yes, he will kill me if
he ever sees this!

 example: Since I was way too lazy to actually bend over, I picked the dirty towel up with my fonngers.
 shoulder-fro: Sasquatchian amount of hair on one’s shoulder or upper arm
 example: As we passed the Semi, my Mom screamed like an idiot while pointing and said, “Holy crap on a cracker! Look at the shoulder-fro on that driver. I swear I could cornrow it with beads!”
 glissues: (pronounced “gli-shoes”) The state of a person or thing being so screwy, you are unable to determine if the person has more glitches or issues. Also refers to a state of being totally weird.
 example: Son, your constant requests for people to smell what you’re carrying around in your pocket is becoming a serious glissue! Or Your obsession with cheese is quickly approaching glissue status.
 And of course, no Dictionary would be complete without a Medical Terminology section…
 Doc-blocked: The having a test, procedure, or course of treatment given the “thumbs-down” by a Doctor
 example: At my last appointment, I asked about this drug I’d seen on-line that was supposed to help with fatigue. The guy Doc-blocked me when he refused to write a script for it. DENIED!
 And since I am ALL about inclusion and celebrating the unrecognized genius of newly discovered words (unlike SOME guys) (*cough*UrbanDictionary*cough*) if you have one you want added to the Dictionary of Newly Discovered Words, leave it in Comments or e-mail it. After all, between brain-fog, meds, and general Swiss-cheese memory, I’m always trying to find the perfect word (or ANY word) for every situation.
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