I Present The Free-Fall Funnel!

 Good morning! Holy wet shoes! Ya know, I wasn’t actually going to post today, but Renee V. (@RVimmerstedt) on Twitter just inspired me! So here it is, the thing that’s gonna fund my retirement…wee-directing funnels!

 Just think about it, no more wet seats in public restrooms. No more money and trees wasted on paper seat guards. No more Hit-or-Miss! I present to you, the *Free-Fall Funnel!

 This miracle of modern engineering will fit securely over the receptacle, allowing women the freedom men have experienced for centuries. Now we too can let ‘er rip without fear of slimy-bottoms, germs, or someone else’s thoughtless piddle-puddles. All you need to do is drop trou, back up, and enjoy a germ-free wee!

 Of course, this handy bathroom accessory also comes with optional handles for those with less balance and is thoughtfully constructed in a sunny shade of yellow to hide those last-minute dribbles.

 We also offer a home version for those who aren’t fans of cleaning their own toilet bowls. (Those things are NASTY! I mean, you KNOW what people do in there, don’t you!?!)

 So don’t delay, order your Free-Fall Funnel today! Call 1-R-U-KIDDIN-ME. That’s 1-785-433-4663.

 *Each Funnel good for a 24 hour period of use and comes with optional rear splash guard. Handles extra.