Thursday, September 20, 2012

I Didn't Get Hit By A Truck!

Double bonus! It's the
STUPID dog and the knees
of my demented circus pants!
  Good morning! I am so proud of myself. I mean, it takes a special kind of woman to continually come up with new and interesting ways of messing with passing motorists. ESPECIALLY at 5:00 AM! That my friends, is a true feat of dork-i-tude!

  You see, at five this morning the STUPID dog decided it HAD to go out for an emergency potty break. (AWESOME!) In retrospect, it was probably a good thing since half -way through her “routine” everything went all feather, wings, and chaos!

  While the STUPID dog and I were in the backyard awaiting the completion of her “stuff,“ a predator of some form (I’m betting my money on a raccoon) was in the front yard where the geese and evil Muscovies sleep. And all hell broke loose!

  By the time I stuffed the confused and probably not “finished” dog in the house and ran (barefooted, yay!) into the front yard, whatever it was had skee-daddeled leaving honking and hissing confusion in its wake. It also left about 15 Muskovy ducks standing in the middle of the road.

  I have to tell ya, birds are actually pretty darned smart, regardless of what you’ve heard. Another little known fact is they can’t see in the dark any better than we can. And I? Live where the street lights end.

  So there I was, standing in the middle of the pitch-black road, waving a flashlight over my head (in the manner of the bird-wrangling-stick, Xena call in effect) in an attempt to find all the frightened birds and get them up the darned hill before a car came. I failed.

  As I turned around to “guide” the last duck to safety, I was caught in a set of HUGE headlights, illuminating me in all my 5:00 AM glory! Fuzzy Tinkerbell jammie pants that look more like a demented circus tent pitched around my lower half than clothing, standard issue hoodie, bare feet, and hair that looked like a chicken’s ass after electrocution. Oh, and the erratically waving flashlight caught in mid-swing. Yeah…good timing, Mr. Truck!

  I am happy to report the truck was sweet enough to stop, allowing me (who by this point had both arms wrapped around my head to block the imminent sights and sound of a squashed duck and possibly a squashed me) to waddle to safety. (The waddling? Applied to both of us.)

 
  Now, aren’t you glad you live nowhere near me? *falls over onto keyboard laughing like a monkey filled with nitrous oxide*

As a Thank You, I'm
sharing my breakfast with you!
(Sorry, I already ate mine.)
  Switching gears as I LOVE to do, since it tends to leave people completely confused. (That way, I don’t feel so alone in my normal state of being!) I was sitting here reading through the comments left on Tuesday…thank all of you for the beautiful words! They were like black-and-white, much-needed hugs. *grin*

  In one of the comments, Jen was wonderful enough to share some info about her favorite charity, “…Now seems like a good time to tell you about my favorite charity, The Caring Voice Coalition. They are my favorite because they help people with chronic illness pay their medical bills, and they paid a $1000 medical bill for me when I didn't have the money to.” (I hope you don’t mind I quoted you, Lady!) And thank you again for sharing this with everyone!

 Then yesterday I received my weekly copy of the Chronicbabe Newsletter in my e-mail and it had something that just went hand-in-hand with Jen’s comment and the whole topic of help. Jenni Prokopsy (Editrix) wrote;

  “I called Jean Poole, a pal who's a medical billing advocate, and we talked for more than an hour about all the common mistakes people make; how to apply for charity (you may be eligible for more than you know); how to find the best people to deal with when disputing a cost; how to get your paperwork organized; and much, much more.
   Jean has worked as a registered nurse, a stay-at-home mom, and has an MBA. This is a woman who understands health care, is mindful of the balance of family and professional life, and can get down and dirty with numbers.
  She knows what it's like to feel alone and frustrated. She knows what it's like to be at the end of your rope. She helps people like you every day get the most for their money.
   I'm super-excited that we've created this resource together. It's a one-hour call packed with TONS of advice. And it's not just for ChronicBabes. Anyone can listen to our call and learn some great tricks.”

  I think it’s a freakin’ amazing thing these women have put together and had to share it with you guys!

  Again, thanks for all the support and sharing your stories with me. That’s the part I love the most! *HUGE HUGS* to all of you!
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