Good morning! May I please offer you an apology in advance because I am in the World’s silliest mood today!
I discovered that starting your day by betting against the House (and losing) on whether you can get a cup of coffee before addressing the Colon-Blow Combo will either make you silly or bitter. (Either way you end up rather uncomfortable and slightly stinky.) So I decided to go with silly.
Last night I was bored, so I decided to do bad things. Things like play on Blogger and click all the buttons that I don’t know what they do. Once again, I ended up in the nether regions of stuff people “Googled” and ended up finding me.
Let me tell ya, The Girl and I laughed for a good half hour over one of them, “amature nude girls”. (Hey, their spelling was wrong so I’m leaving it that way. Bite me, spellcheck!)
|Next year? I'm goin' Pro!|
Umm, here’re my thoughts…#1, if I were gonna look at nude girls, I’m thinkin’ I’d go for the Pro’s. I mean, what makes a nude chick an amateur anyway? They can’t figure out how to get the bra off? They can only get one leg out of their britches? Or is it they only spend half their time naked? (Please help folks, ‘cause I am kinda confused on this one.)
Never mind the fact that Google thought I fit the bill!!! I’m just curious what part of 41 year old couch-slug who’s birthed four offspring did someone think would look hot sans clothing!?!
Next, we laughed even HARDER at this one! We weren’t even sure what kinds of joke to crack, since we were just as confused as amused by “anime girl wedgie hanging from hook”.
Holy friggin monkey riding a bucking bronco! What does that even mean? And who…WHO…looks for this shiz-nit? (I’m sitting here thinking about googling it myself just to see what the living heck-y it is. But then again, I made that mistake with the octopus thing and well, I STILL have night terrors and flashbacks about it!)
A few of the other “REALLY?” moments were “amature stockings” (probably the same person since they still can’t spell any better than me), “face plant” (not THAT one I understand!), “harassed mother images funny” (sure, why not), and “super slug”. This last one? I am so STOKED that my little buddy is making a name for herself! (Her, him…do slugs even have a gender?)
|This is Super Slug's happy face|
After we finished laughing ‘til we cried, I decided I’d follow up on a notification about a “friend request” on one of the listing sites I use. Yes peoples, I was “friended” by STD Symptoms. (I’m sorry, but I really can’t make this stuff up!) I am in no way sure exactly what it was that drew STD to me. Maybe it’s the fact that the Interwebs considers me an amateur nude girl? Do those poor wedgied anime chicks stuck on hooks have serious issues with STD’s?
Here’s a better question, WHAT in all the name of all that is holy ever made anyone think “STD Symptoms” was a good idea for a screen name? OK, sure. The person writes a blog about avoiding STDs and how to deal with one if you’re unlucky enough to get it. But…wouldn’t “Avoiding STDs” have been a better choice? After all, just how many people REALLY wanna say, “Hey! I made friends with STD Symptoms today!” or better yet, “I follow STD Symptoms!”
Part of me actually feels a teeny tiny bit guilty about making fun of this. After all, they could be a very nice person who just made a bad decision that will haunt them forever…
I make bad decisions on a regular basis, like this morning’s way bad one. It may not haunt me forever, but it’ll definitely be “pointing and laughing” at least until the laundry is done.