“What did you want to be when you grew up?”
“I wanted to be a ballerina, an actress, a singer, a dancer…someone everybody loved! I wanted to be someone who got to be someone else for a living.”
“Why is that?”
“I never liked me. I didn’t like my face, my hair, my body, where I lived. I was boring and funny looking. Other people were WAY more interesting.”
“What about now? Do you still feel that way about yourself?”
*doubles over laughing* “I still think I’m kinda funny looking and kinda boring most of the time, but I like me. I have turned funny lookin’ and boring into a flippin’ art form!”
“Why is that? Why the change?”
“Last year I was faced with the onset of a chronic illness. I was forced to slow down and had WAY too much time on my hands with no energy to do anything with it. Sometimes introspection is a good thing, even when your conclusions really SUCK.”
“Could you explain that a bit more? I’m not sure I’m following you. (And can we say ‘suck’ on here?)”
“I realized I didn’t like me. At ALL! I was kinda really mean and bitchy. (I SUCKED.) I was NOT someone I would like to know (because I SUCKED). So I woke up one morning, mad at the world and myself and that’s when it hit me. I had a choice; I could either continue being a horrible person (and SUCKING) or I could work on becoming the person I wished I was.”
*nervously clearing throat* “So you’re saying who a person is, is a choice?”
“Life is a series of choices. Life happens whether you want it to or not. I wanted to be better, not bitter. (Hey, that would make an AWESOME Dr. Seuss book! The Bitter, Better Book! Like the Butter Battle Book, only cooler.) (Sorry, I got distracted there for a moment…) Every day I choose to believe I am NOT my body. I choose to believe happiness is a better goal than anger. I choose to try harder to be THAT person.”
“(Umm…we can edit this, right?) So it’s as easy as that?”
“Pfft! There’s nothing easy about it! It’s life, after all. Life is hard, but that’s what makes it so freakin’ incredible! You know, nothing worth having comes easy?”
“So, why are we having this conversation again?”
“Truthfully? I enjoy talking to myself. I mean, I usually get me! (Although, I’m being kinda annoying and all professional-like today? What gives?) Also, a quote from Bob Marley really made me think. ‘Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?’ I started wondering how I would answer and you sort of appeared and started pounding me with weird questions. So I decided to just go with it.”
“Oh…”
“Geeze! When did I get so uptight? You…I…need to relax and remember the whole point of living is to live. Have some fun, laugh a crap-ton, and help others however we can. And yeah, that includes helping them laugh at all the unpredictable insanity in life. Get it now?”
“Sure. I think I could use a drink now.”
“DUDE! It’s like 8:30 in the morning! You are NOT setting a good example here…”
“Lady, I’m beginning to think we could drive a person to drink.”
“Yeah, I get that from the hubby a lot.” *cheesy grin*
