Hi. My name is Chris. Recently, for whatever reason known only to you privileged few, you have been flooding my mailbox with adds and uber-sweet deals concerning your scooters.
Before I go any further let me first point out that I can, in fact, walk just fine with the assistance of a cane. I don not currently require the use of your product. Whoever the lying dirt-muncher was that sold you my e-mail and snail-mail addresses? You should REALLY ask for your money back!
|Now THIS is a scooter I would buy!|
And yeah, white, royal blue, and black are all fine and dandy, but I’m looking more for something in metallic purple with hot pink flames. Not THAT would be a rockingly righteous paint job for a scooter! After all, why attempt to “blend in” when you’re gonna stick-out like a sore thumb anyway. STAND OUT loud and proud, baby!
Also, in your "accessories" I saw no mention of a sidecar. Forget about a basket for the front or a saddlebag thing for the back. Those are for the more laid-back person. I want a sidecar! I could fill it with groceries, use it as a purse I could actually find stuff in, or take a friend shopping or out to terroize the Town. (But that’s not your concern so just forget I mentioned it. Let’s just stick with filling it with groceries.)
I want the pale pink mag wheels, modified ape-hanger handlebars, crushed velvet seats, and a horn that sounds like the laugh from SAW. (And don’t forget the cow-catcher!)
Now, you build THAT scooter and ya know what? I’ll throw out the cane and you’ll have yourself a customer! Until then, PLEASE stop sending me SPAM!