Can You Believe This WITCH Reported Me!?!

Dear Air Controller Guys,

  My name is Broomzelda Hagglehog and I would like very much to file a formal complaint!

  There I was, minding my own business, flying around the day before The Big Day, scouting new areas in need of serious "Witching" when what do I see? Some crazy lady stealing my thunder!

Behold the might of the
Bird Wrangling Stick!

  I am the Witch In Residence for this District and can produce the paperwork to prove it. What is this freak-show doing on my turf? I mean, she MUST be some sort of Crazy Witch-Wanna-Be just by her appearance and the Zombie-shuffle dance she was doing. And even as high as I was riding on my broom I could STILL hear that cackling singing thing she was doing. And let me tell ya, it was HORRIFYING!

  I have included two photos of said poacher so you can judge for yourself. She HAS to be some kind of wild, unregistered Country Hag. She even has a black cat and is surrounded by an army of horrible birds.



Why yes, Officer.
I WAS cavorting!



  And speaking of army of birds, I was under the impression that both possession and/or creation of Armies of Animal Henchmen was outlawed in the early 1960’s owing to the green-faced nut-job from the West and her uncontrollable Flying Monkeys? (I mean, Flying Monkeys? REALLY!?!) This would place this chick in direct violation of TWO Laws!



  I hereby formally request IMMEDIATE action to remove her from my area before the Official Haunting Hour begins on the morrow.

  Not only do unverified Witches like this make us all look bad with her amateur cavorting, but her open day-time activity only accustoms the locals to fearful behavior making it harder on the rest of us to achieve the full “pee-your-pants” terror response.

  Thank you for your time and consideration. I truly hope a resolution can be reached ASAP.


Can you believe this WITCH
reported me!?!



Yours Truly

Broomzelda Hagglehog
ID#666NDGRAVE, Warted Witch 1^st Class

  (Hey! I bet you guys didn’t know the Air Controllers were in charge of Witches, did ya? It does make perfect sense…*falls over laughing on her computer*)