Good morning! It’s another day and another chance to male a total ass of myself. Sorry, I didn’t quite manage it yesterday, so no cool “Tales of the Lame and the Lamer“…although, that WOULD make an awesome soap opera name. Or maybe it could replace “Tales From then Crypt.”
I can see it now…I could get an Alfred Hitchcock kinda guy to do the intro.
I can see it now…I could get an Alfred Hitchcock kinda guy to do the intro.
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| Pretend this is in silhouette. And if you don't "get it" then please, you young thing, go Google Alfred Hitchcock! |
"*inhale* I present for your consideration a tragic tale *inhale* of a woman who has lost her way. *inhale* She once was what some may have thought *inhale* to be a mildly beautiful creature but *inhale* Fate and Time have been *inhale* most unkind. *inhale* Our story begins in the *inhale* middle of her life. *inhale* The use of one leg has been *inhale* crippled, as has her *inhale* sense of humor, leaving her both *inhale* Lame and Lamer.”
Or maybe Morgan Freeman.
“It was a warm Autumn day. Not hot, not cold, but merely warm. She, on the other hand, used to be what a near sighted fool of a man might have thought hot. But Life hadn’t been too kind to that lady. No, her one leg didn’t quite work like the other leg. You see, this one used to have that certain spring in her step, but now it was more like a half drag.
“I think she probably used to be a little funny once. Not funny in an odd way, mind you. More of a funny like she could tell a right good joke and put a smile on a man’s face. But the years seemed like they had stripped that from her too.
“Now, where there might once have been a handsome woman in the blossom of her day who could make a man forget the hand Life had dealt him, there stood a woman that life had rode hard, leaving her what some might call “Lame” and “Lamer.”
But this does bring to mind a question for you guys. What I’m sure was a well meaning show that hubby was watching last week, was telling people how mean it was to use words like “gimp” and “lame” and “crippled.” We should all be PC and say “disabled” or “handicapped.” (Or my all time favorite “differently abled.”) (Sorry peoples, but I am NOT PC and THAT ONE just pushes the limits of my PC-tolerance.)
O-K! I refer to myself as a gimp on a regular bases. I just spent the last 30 minutes writing “lame” jokes aimed at myself. Am I being an ass-hat to me? Should I tell myself I’m seriously insensitive? Should I report me for hate speech against myself? (I am SO confused!)
If any of y’all have visible glitches, how do you feel about using terms like these? Is it OK if the person using them is glitched-out too? Does it depend on the context? Am I being an absolute monkey-nugget for opening this can of worms? Inquiring minds want to know! (Mainly MY inquiring mind, but still.)
I suppose I view it in a similar light to the word “bitch.” I am not ashamed to say I reclaimed it YEARS ago when I was a bartender. (You would be AMAZED at what drunken guy-folk will call a chick who cuts them off. Or maybe you wouldn’t.)
I also removed the “c-word” from their arsenal, thus leaving them speechless for the most part. (No, I never want to reclaim THAT one, but when you throw out the sentence, “Thank you! I’ve worked long and hard to become this big a bitch and I’m working on “c-word” status next!” it just takes the wind out of their sails and the sting out of their words.)
And what about you non-glitchy individuals? Does this whole line of questioning make you uncomfortable? Are you all PC or are you more relaxed about the whole thing?
(Warning: Shameless plug and invitation to follow) I’m going to post this same question (in WAY shorter form) (maybe) on my brand-spankin’ new “Life Your Way!” Facebook page. So…feel free to pop in and tell me what an insensitive dork-a-potomus I am! *grin*
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| My best Morgan Freeman face. I TOTALLY adore his freckles! |
PPS I so TOTALLY nailed Morgan Freeman's voice! Just sayin'...
