Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Anger And Avoidance

  Good morning! Today is a bit of a serious one…again. (Oops!)
  I’m fairly certain most of us have at least heard of the five stages of grief even if we’re not really sure what all in included. The stages are usually presented as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

  Here are a few interesting factoids most of us aren’t aware of. 1) They don’t necessarily occur in this order. 2) People don’t always experience all five stages. (Sometimes, just to complicate things, there are quite a few other emotional stages involved.) 3) The stages don’t apply only to the death of a loved one but can generally be applied to ANY loss, including loss of good health. 4) People can cycle through the stages over and over and over…

  Which brings me to today. Actually, the last month (or more).

  I’m mad. No, I’m not just mad, I’m “your mother caught you sneaking out of the house after curfew when you’re already grounded” mad! I AM FURIOUS!

  At what, you ask? At my damned body. At the ever increasing glitch-factor. At muscles that refuse to do my bidding. At the mess my house is because I’m unable to complete simple chores without help. At the fact that I need to flippin’ ASK for help.

  At the loss of life as I knew it for 40 years.

  Oh, and don’t let me forget to include Docs and the at-times imperfect “practice” of medicine. That’s a serious contributing factor as well.

  Once again, let me interject right here that I’m NOT looking for pity, empathy, or anything else. Just being honest because…well, happy and accepting are things of beauty but not always possible.

  People living with chronic illnesses are gonna have periods of their life where accepting the new normal doesn’t jive with the ole psyche. BUT, being mad as hell does. And I am THERE in spades!

  *pauses for inappropriate giggle*
I wish I could pass on some awesome coping mechanisms, but I am simply NOT in the mood to do serious research this morning. (Sorry!)

  I can tell you I’ve thrown myself toes-to-tip into doodling. It’s more of an “ignore the crap” way of working through it (avoidance?), since it’s something I can do from my beloved comfy couch without using the muscles that are hating me right now. (And OH how I hate them right back at this exact moment!)

  I’ve got projects going here and here, not to mention signing up to collaborate with The Mighty Turtle on “Turtle-Isms” and a bit of freelance work for a Marathon Relay Team. (Too many irons in too many fires? Noooo….NOT me!)

Illustrations by Chris Dean of Life Your Way!
Written by Karen Vasquez
A DeanSquez Joint

  The point is, life and reality are not always lovely rose gardens we can tippey-toe through, pausing to inhale the sweet, sweet aroma. Sometimes we look up and seem to find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of the Town Dump instead, holding our breath and waiting for the moment to pass.

  And pass it will, as long as we don’t deny our feelings and play pretend everything is okay-dokey. I know this. And, as with most nasty things in life, admitting it’s real is the first step in kicking its metaphorical ass!

  So, My name is Chris and I’m pissed. Plain and simple.

  Now that THAT’S outta the way, I suppose it’s time to pull my head out of Avoidance Land and figure out how to climb out of this dump and find my stinkin’ rose garden. *grin*