Friday, January 4, 2013

Fun With Friends

  UPDATE: Dear Blogger, not to bite the hand that metaphorically feeds me, but I am currently looking for a Tech-God to help me migrate. Why? Because you are so GLITCHED that my posts are looking like a word jumble. I have edited this thing FIVE TIMES and it STILL won't post correctly. I don't even have the ability to edit the HTML to fix it. Why? Becausee you SUCK! Thank you and that is all.

  Good morning! Relax guys, I promise I will not speak of ANY links today. (Except maybe to point out I’m ahead in the polls. But that’s it. Not another word…*grin)

 Yesterday morning I was “chatting” with a friend when it suddenly dawned on me that in our discussion of “what are you taking for what” we were missing out on a golden opportunity. (Yeah, I know. I heard my GRANDMOTHER have this same conversation many-a-time too. *sigh*)

  Anyway...instead of simply swapping lists, we could have turned the whole thing into a game!

  So today, since it’s the first Friday of the New Year, I present to you…

     Top Ten Games For The Illin’:

Chronic Poker- Instead of cards, you use symptoms. And as far as the betting goes, you use meds instead of money. (No swapping, mind you so it‘s all legal Mr. Government Watch-Dog guy! This is strictly a verbal game.)                                    Example: “I’ve got HORRIBLE back spasms and I’m taking Cymbalta for pain.”
     “I’ve got widespread muscle spasms. I’ll see your Cymbalta and raise you a Flexural and a Vicodon!”
       Winner is determined by who can move with the least amount of pain.

PINGO- It’s like Bingo, only involving meds.                          P (pain) I (immunosuppressant) N (neural issues) G (gastro intestinal) and O (other)
"Bingo Granny" couesy of wadesters1
The squares include things such as “once a day,” “empty stomach,” “take with food,” “injection,” “infusion,” “horse pill,” “as needed,” “at bedtime,” and “three times a day.”
       The standard BINGO rules apply. First one with four in a row covered wins. (Sort of.)

Obstacle Course- You can play this one using a cane, crutches, or scooter. Players make a list of items and hit the Department Store during a huge Blow-Out Sale. The first one to find all their items and make it through the check-out wins. Points are lost for doing bodily harm to other shoppers.
               4) Potty Run- Players each eat a plate of my hubby’s YUMMY New Year’s Day specialty, corned beef and steamed cabbage. (It really is delicious!) Then they they mow-down on the traditional “left-over’s Rueben sandwich with extra sour krout.”  
       Next, they line up in the same Department Store Blow-Out Sale as they used for the Obstacle Course.
       The contestant that makes it to the potty first wins. Points are gained for noxious gas released along the way. However, points are lost for any and all “leakage” during gas delivery.”

Bladder Control- Players each drink three cups of coffee, two cans of soda, and two 8 oz. glasses of water. They then attempt to stand in place while someone witty tells jokes and another person blows smoke in their general direction triggering couching and sneezing.                            The one who remains the driest, wins. Points are lost for use of leg crossing.

Torture Test- Players call or visit Annoying Acquaintance (AA) who will list every ache and pain they are currently or ever have experienced. AA will then proceed to list any and all drugs ever taken for any condition real or imagined.                           The goal is for the Players to be able to appear pleasantly interested without engaging in the “one-up-man-ship” behavior of AA.
       Points are lost if AA detects the use of a blatant perma-smile and/or any “Well, you think THAT’S bad? Listen to THIS…” responses.

Will Power- Players are dressed in the comfiest jammies known to man. They then curl up on their individual comfy-couches with a fuzzy blanket, a widescreen TV, and full access to a Movies On Demand service.                             They are then presented with one heck of a messy house. The one who can actually pull their behinds off the couch and clean? Wins. (And I can guarantee the Winner would NOT be me!)

Self-Preservation- This is a timed game. During a 12 hour period, players are barraged with phone calls, e-mails, and text messages from friends and family members asking for favors or begging the you to go out and do something fun with them.                              The one that can manage to NOT overtax themselves wins. Points lost for overt displays of guilt at saying, "No."

Jammies Or Pants- This is a game of honesty among friends.       
This has abolutely nothing to do
with the post. I just thought
Jack was looking REALLY cute!
You pick a day of the week to check in with each other. On that day, you fess up to how many times you’ve showered and put on real pants in the past week. (And yes, weekends count!)

Catch-A-Doc- This is a game you can play by yourself or with a friend.                              When symptoms flare, see how many calls it takes to get an appointment with your Doc. (Kinda like the old, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop”. Only biting isn’t allowed.) (Umm, on second thought, it’s not like that at all because licking isn’t a good idea either. Let’s just forget I said anything.)

  There ya have it. Some fun things to do when you feel like you’re coming un-glued! (check it out! I’m a poet and didn’t even know it. *giggle snort giggle*)

PS The similarities between Chronic Poker and Torture Test really didn’t escape me. The real difference between the two is the level of camaraderie and commiseration between the friends playing the game. One is a light-hearted “I feel you pain!” and the other is strictly a one-upping scenario.