Friday, January 18, 2013

My Secret Geek-A-Tude Is Showing

  Good morning! Last night I fell asleep watching a new “reality” show. (I KNOW! Please don’t mock me. At least not yet…) It was the new Geek-Chic show called “King of the Nerds.” (OK, NOW you can mock me!) 
  Which got me to thinking…(never a good thing, is it?) Since all things Nerdy and Geeky are TOTALLY cool right now, what other TV shows can we expect to see in the near future? (Since NONE of the Networks would know an original thought if it bit them on the posterior end anyway.)

  So, today’s Top Ten is a list of shows you can expect to see on your favorite Networks in the near future.

     Top Ten Nerdy Reality Shows Coming Soon

     1) Nerd Wars
10 Nerds are stuck in a house with random bits and pieces of electronic equipment, but no computers or gaming consoles. The first person to manage to build a functioning computer or game system out of sheer desperation wins.                     Not to worry, Paramedics and Therapists will be on site to assist in case of ugly withdraws.

     2) Project Runway: Geek-Chic Edition
Contestants will be forced to design FUNCTIONAL clothes for REAL PEOPLE who do seriously crazy things like EAT and sit at a computer or lounge on the couch for hours on end. They will not be allowed to use high heels, any material that doesn’t breath or isn’t machine washable, or can’t be worn to the Comic Book store.                      Some of the criteria they will be judged on will include how well the outfits hide Mt. Dew and Cheeze Whiz stains, do they ride up after sitting in an ergonomic chair for five hours, and whether or not they trap BO smells.

     3) Reality or Reality
10 LARPers from different Games will be secluded in a house deep in the woods. They will be allowed to bring all their LARP equipment and two changes of clothes.              
       The object of the show will be to see if they will create their own Game that integrates their individual characters into one set of parameters or if they give up and return to the “Real World” out of sheer frustration and refusal to assimilate.

     4) Trek VS Wars
A delightful cross between Jeopardy and Family Feud where a panel of three Star Trek fans will compete against a three man panel of Star Wars fans. The team that answers the most trivia questions wins and gets to return the following night.                       This wonderful gem will be hosted by Will Wheaton. (Oh come on, you can SO see this one actually happening!)

     5) The Bachelor: Comic Book Edition
A hard-core Comic Book Geek will be secluded with ALL the latest issues of his favorite Comics and full access to the On-Line Comic Book Store of his choice. There will also be 10 ladies living in the house with him.         The winner will be the woman who can actually catch his attention and draw him away from his Comics, alerting him to the fact that the opposite sex exists and is good for more than answering the call of, “Mom, can you make me a sandwich?”

     6) Trading Spaces: Nerd VS Geek Edition
A Gaming Geek and a Comic Book Nerd have one week to design and build the PERFECT fantasy room for each other.                      A team of designers and handy men will be on site to assist each team. Also available to help will be representatives from Marvel, DC and Sony X-Box.

     7) Nerd Queen
10 Geeky-Babes will each be given a Super Model. The contestant that manages to turn their stick-thin, alien appearing model into a woman that looks and behaves normally wins. The contestants will be judged on the following criteria;
       a. Can they train their Models to eat Fritos and drink Mt. Dew (Anyone who gets the Jonathon Coulton reference here gets quadruple Bonus Points!)      
       b. Can they teach their models to walk in flats or plain sneakers      
       c. Can they teach their Models how to game for 12 hours straight, program webpage in basic HTML, or spend four hours in a Comic Book Store discussing Marvel versus DC.

     8) Marvel VS DC
This is another Game Show exactly like “Trek VS Wars” only the teams will answer trivia pertaining to Marvel and DC Comics.                       This awesome addition to the A&E line-up will be hosted by Kevin Smith with the panel of judges made up of his Comic Book Men.

     9) In-Patient
This show will follow five people through their month of in-patient treatment where they will relive their traumatic High School years and learn to work through the damage that was done by the “Cool Kids.”                       Ultimately, they will come to see their worth as the wonderfully unique people they are, letting go of the past pains that have haunted them.
       There will also be one-on-one sessions for those battling a gaming addiction or suffering from severe OCD.

     10) Hoarders: Geek Edition
Families of individuals who hoard games and gaming accessories (which includes LARPing paraphernalia), computer equipment, action figures, or comic books will work with trained professionals in their quest to help their loved ones overcome their unacceptable, self-destructive behavior and find a balance in life.
  So there ya have it. The new trend in programming that’ll be hitting your televisions this Spring. (And you know what the creepiest part is? You KNOW I’m right!)

PS Blogger HATES my Top Ten Lists and refuses to comply with my formatting so please forgive the awkward layout. *sigh*

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