It Was A SAUSAGE!

  Good morning! I figured in the past I’ve cracked on Twitter enough that today it was time to turn my attention to Facebook. *grin*
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  First off, if you don’t meander through the overcrowded halls of the almighty FB, you probably missed this yesterday. (For the rest of you, I’m REALLY sorry!)

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  I was innocently sitting at the table when The Boy yelps from the kitchen, “WHAT IS THIS!?!” The Girl and I looked up to see him holding this…

This was just discovered in the bowels of my fridge. We’re all taking bets on what it used to be…and since The Girl explicitly told me I CAN’T post this as a dick-y joke, I’m just gonna say my money’s riding on ancient Egyptian Daddy-dangle!

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 It’s important to note that I spent one Saturday watching a marathon of Oddities out of sheer boredom, which explains why ancient Egyptian mummified phallus came straight to mind. (Which I now know the going rate for one is around $10,000.) What can I say? I’m more twisted than a Twizzler.
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  A FB conversation with The Girl followed in which she strongly suggested I preserve it in a pickle jar as opposed to keeping it at the back of the fridge in a Ziploc baggie, I rummaged through the cabinets and came up empty on the pickle jar front. SO, I decided to go with this option…

Not quite a pickle jar, but it’ll work until I find one. Hope hubby doesn’t want his glass before then…

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  And just for he record, I had to fight tooth and nail with The Boy who was in a seriously protective mood when it came to his Dad’s favorite cup. But ya know what? I WON, so it was all good.
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  I guess it’s important to point out I left it in the cup to see if it would re-hydrate so we could identify what the holy heck-y it was in its former life. And that would be where it was an hour later when I heard hubby bellow, “WHY is the sausage jerky I brought home for your Mother in my damn cup!?!” (Yes, we use a LOT of exclamation points in our conversations around here. Because he who yells he loudest wins.)
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  Turns out he’d scored a couple of smoked sausage jerkies from a friend at work. And these weren’t any old sausage jerkies. No…they were from Claus’ German Sausage and Meat Market (which we may or may not be addicted to) who makes and smokes all their own meat stuff. *happy sigh*
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  Apparently, he ate one and was awesome enough to save the second one for me. In a Ziploc baggie. At the back of the fridge. WITHOUT leaving a note.
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  So, to keep the peace in my home, I was forced to remove the slightly watered-down sausage, dry it off, and eat it. Oh, and apologize to the sausage for my mistreatment of its greatness.
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And THAT would be why I posted this little gem.

So…turns out it was NOT ancient Egyptian Daddy parts, but in fact was smoked sausage jerky made at a German Deli hubby and I are addicted to. He scored some off a friend and had left the second piece in the fridge for me as a surprise. To keep peace in the house I ate the YUMMY piece of water-logged jerky and promised to post an appology for drowning the suasage. Sorry sausage

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  The Girl stopped me from attempting to Photoshop my nose hairs out. (She swore no one would notice.) So, if you did and are seriously grossed out? It’s HER fault!
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