Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Twitter’s Gonna Make Me Rich And I Discovered The Chupafaun!

  Good morning! OK, so yesterday I finish posting then head out to do the whole bird work thing. Do you know what happened next?
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  No, I didn’t fall down…again. I found evidence that the Chupacabra is free ranging in Indiana! Although The Girl says it was a Faun. (Like a Pan Faun, not a Bambi faun. Just wanted to clarify for the mental image y’all are working up.)
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  I found footprints coming up from the lane, circling around the outer part of the yard, and wandering off down the front hill. I even pulled hubby, who knows ALL about critter tracks, outside to look at them.
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  He was unable to identify the tracks which only proves it’s a Chupacabra. Or a Faun. Or maybe even a Chupafaun, because the Chupacabra was a lonely girl goat-sucker and was lost in the woods behind our house when she ran across this party guy Faun. THINGS happened. BAD things. CRAZY
things! And the result was the Chupafaun that walked across my yard Sunday night! .


  Does anyone know of any Chupafaun repellent? Or even if I need one. I mean, we don’t have any goats for the Chupacabra side and the wine is hidden in the basement so I don’t think the Faun part of it would know to break in or anything. Just wondering.
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  In other news, Twitter is gonna make me RICH! Which would be the only reason I stay on there since Vince Offer has yet to follow me. (But at least he hasn’t blocked me as a crazy Schticky-stalker. Yet.) Also, I have had no success in getting drunken, out of work Clowns or pornographic Mimes to follow me either. Which is another reason I’m slightly bitter towards the big T.
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  Although, for some strange reason there have been a number of realty people following me of late and I have NO idea WHY. But I digress…
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  Yesterday Renee (@RVimmerstedt) and I came up with ANOTHER completely wowsome invention! (It’s a combination of “wonderful” and “awesome” and it TOTALLY a real word because I just made it up. So there!)
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  I present to you the Coffee-Flage Cup. For those mornings when you need a little pick-me-up. Or possibly a little numb-me-up. Either way works.

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  To the casual observer it appears to be a normal coffee cup with a mild mannered stir stick. BUT, it’s really a coffee cup with a false bottom where you can hide your booze of choice. Yep, a sip of “Good Morning” with every slug o’java.
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  We’re still working on the design a bit. Maybe we’ll just offer two models. One with the stir stick acting as a straw, the other with a built-in, clear plastic channel that funnels the happy-sauce into your mouth under the cover of the coffee. Either way, it’s gonna make me my millions!
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  And, of course, I’ll ask Mr. Offer to be the pitchman for this piece of awesomeness! Then he’ll HAVE to follow me and my New Year’s resolution will be completed and office workers across the Nation will sing my praises because I’m such a friggin’ genius!
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  Discovery of a Chupafaun and invention of the Coffee-Flage Cup, not too shabby for a laid-back Tuesday morning…