I’m Probably Gonna Burn In Literary Hell For This One

  Conversation I had with The Girl about a beloved childhood classic after I had kinda trashed The Giving Tree.
.

I think Jack makes an AWESOME Max!

.
TG- “Ya know, I never really looked at it that way when I was little. It kinda makes you wonder what else I missed.”

. Me- “Well…I always wondered about Where The Wild Things Are. I mean, where the hell was this kid’s Mother while he was off gallivanting in the Land of the Wild Things? Did she report him missing? Was there an investigation? Did anyone bring her up on charges of Child Neglect or at least Endangerment?”
 .
TG- “I think it was all supposed to be a hallucination.”
 .
Me- “What the hell? Was she feeding the kid shrooms? Ya know, today they’d give the kid meds for having hallucinations like that!”
.
TG- “I don’t know, I think it sounded more like a bad trip since all his Monster Friends turned mean at the end.”
 .
Me- “Which brings me back to Child Endangerment. After all, where do you think he GOT the drugs?”
.
TG- “OH-MY-GAWD! Ya know what? I got it, his Mom was a flippin’ Drug Lord! Why else would there have been drugs that strong laying around the apartment? And why else would she have failed to notice he was gone or report it to authorities? Because the LAST thing a Drug Lord wants is the Police in their apartment looking for a missing kid who’s really just having a BAD trip!”
.
Me- “The question now becomes what was his Mom dealing?”
.
TG- “Cocaine. Definitely cocaine.”
.
Me- “So what you’re really saying is Where The Wild Things Are is a cautionary tale of why it’s a BAD idea to inhale on the Cutting Room floor.”
.
TG- “EXACTLY!”
.
  That would be the point at which I looked at her and knew in my heart of hearts…I’d seriously warped my children beyond what even I expected. Either that, or I’d let them watch WAY too much CSI!
.
PS This conversation really did take place, but in my defense we’d just finished watching an episode of Dark Matters where they explained in detail the effects of a cocaine overdose.
  So it was really more of an educational discussion. Like testing The Girl’s memory and comprehension.
  If you look at it that way? Then I come out looking like an awesome Mom who was showing concern for her daughter’s education.
.
PPS And speaking of The Giving Tree (back in paragraph one. Remember?) if you wanna laugh til you almost wet yourself, you REALLY should check out this scholarly examination Meleah turned me on to! (Thanks again sweetie!)


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge