Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I should stick to telling stories

WEGO HAWMC Day 16
Tell us 3 things that are true about you, your condition, or your Health Activism. Tell us 1 lie. Will we be able to tell the difference?”

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  “Holy Swiss cheese, Batman! This prompty-thing is like a game of To Tell The Truth or Truth or Dare, only Truth or Lie instead. But we can’t tell lies ‘cause we’re the good guys!”
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  “Robin, I’m beginning to think your trunks are on too tight…”.
  Sorry. Had to get that out of my system. I think I’m all better now.
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  I’m desperately trying to figure out three things about me, my “condition” or my activism that I HAVEN’T told you guys already. I mean, the “lie” part is easy…I LOVE BEING SICK! I LOVE not having to work and being able to lounge upon my delightful couch and watch daytime TV, stuffing myself with bonbons and truffles all the day. I LOVE having a ready-made excuse to free me from any and all unwanted social engagements.
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  Being chronically illin’ is the absolute shiz-nit!

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  I love my awesome purple, sparkly cane. Honestly, I’m not sure how I managed to survive 40-some years without it. I mean, people are so kind and considerate to a chick with a stick. They hold doors open, allow you to jump line, make room for your extra appendage in Super Market aisles, and no one EVER looks at you like you’re faking! (Like how I did that? A lie within a lie? I tell you what, THAT should be worth some kind of Bonus points!)
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  OH! And there’s never any loss of self-esteem when your bod glitches out. Nope! That right there is a myth put in place to keep others from feeling overly jealous of our newfound freedom of responsibilities.
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  And one last fact that those of us who keep chronic company like to keep secret? Docs have magic pills that will fix anything WITHOUT any nasty side effects! Hellz yeah, baby!
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  I am now officially shocked that my laptop hasn’t burst into flames or been struck by lightening! I mean, this one had better come with its own roll of potty paper due to all the CRAP it contains. *falls over in giggle fit*
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  How about you guys? Any favorite lies or “full-o-doo-dee” that you care to share?
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PS Ok, yeah…that was a rough ending. But I’m a story-teller, gosh-darn-it! I’m used to ready-made conclusions and I apparently SUCK at finding endings for this kind of thing.
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PPS That may have come out wrong, like I only put in the part about wanting to know what you think because I couldn’t come up with anything better and that is SO not true! I really do care!!!
See, I told you I suck at this!
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PPPS I should probably just quit while I’m ahead, shouldn’t I?

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