The Road

    I’ve known for years that I’ve been living in a world of ever increasing instant gratification. E-mail and texting have removed the necessity to await the arrival of missives from friends or loved ones and with on-line, buy-in-advance options, my children will never even know the excitement (or frustration) of waiting in line to buy concert or movie tickets.
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  What I didn’t realize until this morning was how much of that mind-set I’d unknowingly slipped into.
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  Today I had my first appointment with a Therapist to work on some anxiety issues. Consciously, I would have told you I had no idea what I was expecting. Subconsciously, it would appear I was expecting a “quick-fix.”
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  In all reality today was the evaluation visit, full of what seemed like an endless stream of painfully similar questions designed to help the Therapist better decide where to go with me next.
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  As it turns out, a personality assessment to determine if there are any underlying mental illnesses present, is the next step. After that, a visit with a Doctor for a medication consultation will be scheduled, during which we can discuss if my road to health would benefit from the use of pharmaceuticals.
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  We also decided to start with an every other week schedule for my actual Therapy where I will (hopefully) learn new and healthier ways of dealing with anxiety.
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  To be honest, I was reminded of the quest for a diagnosis and affective treatment pertaining to my physical health over the last few years. No quick fix. No instant gratification. No magic pill that brought everything into focus and make the world smell like roses. Instead, a series of appointments where each built on the last, creating a better path for me to follow to the best possible life I can find for myself.
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  To be certain, there was a certain amount of let-down as I made my way back out to my car. It was similar to the way I usually feel after a normal check-up with any of my other Doctors. I always hope for some new Miracle Cure that they’ll have waiting for me, all the while knowing it’s simply going to be them assessing whether or not my current meds are doing more good than harm.
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  I won’t lie to you, I cried a little on the drive home. I usually do when asked to undergo more testing. But with every mile closer to home, I felt a little lighter knowing that where I really wanted to be waited at the end of the State Road 58.
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  I suppose it’s that way with our health, be it physical or mental, as well. The closer we get to our goal, the lighter we’ll feel. Or perhaps it’s the hope that grows a little stronger with each mile closer. Maybe that’s why they call it the road to health.


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