Sunday, May 26, 2013

What's in your drawers?

  Good morning! So yesterday the “kids” chewed through their bottle nipple. (Yes, I did feel it necessary to clarify that sentence with “bottle nipple” as opposed to “their nipple” or “my nipple” because a couple teething kittens chewing through any old nipple besides that belonging to a bottle would just be all like, “OUCH!!!”)
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  Where was I again? Oh yeah! So, yesterday the “kids” chewed through their bottle nipple. Which explains why I was digging through the nether regions of my kitchen drawer looking for a replacement. (What!?! Where do you keep your replacement nipples?)
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  I never found the nipple, but I did find everything else under the sun. Since I’m not a Physicist, I can’t come up with proof of this, but I’m positive I discovered a new kind of Black Hole; one which allows a person to defy the laws of space and time and cram three times more crap into a given space than math says it should be able to hold.
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  Maybe:
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  I did manage to dig out some things that amused me, like an assortment of potentially offensive buttons (The “potentially offensive” part would go a long way toward explaining why they were in my possession to begin with.) and a Troll keychain that I have no flippin’ idea where it came from.
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  I unearthed an collection of novelty butane lighters (none of which work)…
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…and long forgotten cigarette cases.
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  Which only goes to show I obviously associate smoking with being in the kitchen. (Makes ya wanna run right out and have dinner at my place, doesn’t it?)
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  At the point all of this had emerged and my drawer still looked like this,
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I was officially afraid to dig any deeper. After all, I might have found a kid I forgot we had or something equally as expensive to feed and house.
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  It all kinda reminds me of that credit card commercial where the Viking keeps asking, “What’s in your wallet?” Only this one? Is a lot more fun to say. “What’s in your drawers?”

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