Tuesday, June 25, 2013

It's MOSTLY all in a name

  HOLY CRAP Y'ALL! I just had an epiphany! I was wondering about my mud bog / dust bowl of a front yard, taking pictures, and giggling at my own dirty-mindedness when it hit me; it’s all in the name! (Do not even TRY to tell me Shakespeare said this shit first, because he said, “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Which is totally NOT the same thing! It’s the opposite. And today is not Opposite Day because Spongebob would have told me if it was. So there!)

  Anyway, I was amusing myself with my own crappy photography when I realized that by naming things something fancy-smancy sounding, it became “Art”. Which would kinda make me an Artist instead of a crappy photography, since “Art” doesn’t make itself. Right!?!

  I mean, with this line of thinking I can even explain away the blurry factor. It’s not that my hands shake like my thighs when I drive over a bumpy road. Oh no! It’s because, “Our lives are rarely ever in focus.” Or, “It’s a commentary about the fact that in today’s fast-paced life, events become a series of blurs instead of clean, focused moments to be treasured.” Hellz yeah, baby!

  Like with this one. “Tree With Phallus

  By calling it that instead of “Wood With Wood” and also choosing to use the word “phallus” instead of “willie,” “pee pee,” “schlong,” "dong," “frank without the beans,” or any number of other slang terms for a “one-eyed-wonder-worm,” I gave it an air of high-brow merit and elevated it out of the realm of “dirty mind.”

  How about this one? “Misty Sunrise Over Clothes On Line

  With its wordy, slightly boring title, this one tells us that it is, in fact, a study in how the human subconscious longs for a harking back to a simpler time and place with the partially concealed bell representing the echos of the Death-Toll subconsciously heard ringing in the collective soul for all things pure and simple in the world in which we live. (Did that sentence even make any sense? I mean, the words were big and the overall effect darn-near put me to sleep while I was typing it, which made me think it was PERFECT for Artsy-Fartsy Society and all, but did it actually mean anything? Ya know what? Never mind! I’m just gonna go with it!)

  “Man With Hat

  Now, the over-exposed, back lit area represents…ya know what? Forget it. I’m givin’ this one to Shakespeare. A crappy photograph of hubby pretending to be a Blues Brother is still a crappy photograph of hubby pretending to be a Blues Brother, no matter what I calls it.

  So yeah, maybe it’s MOSTLY all in the name.

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