Monday, June 10, 2013

Who the hell do they hire to design these things anyway!?!


  Good morning! Did you know that it’s never a good idea to have a half-filled bottle of kitten formula sitting next to you on your desk when you’re focused on some work or other and find yourself thirsty? Yeah well, now ya do. And so do I. You’re welcome.
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  Yesterday was sort of a special occasion here. Not only was everyone off work and Middle Son coming for dinner, but I cooked! (And by “cooked” I mean I first cleaned and reorganized, attempting to undue months worth of damage caused by hubby doing most of the cooking. Then I threw a bunch of stuff in a bowl, kinda faking my way through it as I went along.)
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   I made an awesome baked garlic dip-spready-type-stuff to snack on while the grill was heating up. (And by “heating up” I really mean “while hubby was deciding when to actually start the grill,” but the other way sounded like it was more planned and less desperate and starving to death.) After I’d added enough stuff to the bowl to make it look like I knew what I was doing, I was faced with the decision of what to dip in it. Then it came to me…fancy sounding bread!
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  And let me tell ya, it don’t get more fancy and exotic sounding than Foc-a-cat bread!
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  Yes, after years of intensive instruction on proper pronunciation, I am now fully aware that the rest of the civilized world calls it Fococcia. But ya know what? I flunked two years of French and a year of Russian before I realized I have ZERO aptitude with any remotely foreign appearing, written words. Besides, my BAD take on this bread dates back to 2001 and a sloppily written label. Besides old habits die hard.
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   Especially old habits that are way more fun than doing things the “right“ way. (Unless, of course you’re ordering a sandwich in, let’s say, a Fazzoli’s. Even after all these years, they continue to insist they don’t have ANY sandwiches that come on either Chewbacca or Foc-a-cat bread. Dumbasses.)
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  Getting back to the point…since there was no fancy bread in the house, Fok-ing or otherwise, a trip to the store was in order. That would be where I found THIS!
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  Which has GOT to be the single most phallic looking toy in the entire history of toys ever! The ONLY way it could have been worse, (or better, depending on your perspective) would be if they’d packaged the squishy balls a little lower…that would have been PERFECT!
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