Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Are you the lemon?

  Good morning! Ya know, I woke-up this morning to birds singing, cool air and humidity less than its normal 150%. Makes a gal feel inspired to do a bit of work on her “to-do” list. (What this REALLY means? I can’t come up with anything better to write about than my flippin’ “to-do” list because the nice weather has me all laid-back and chill-like.)

Wednesday-
  Write letter to pets and leave on front door

  You sweet little balls of fur and happiness, although I am positive the powers that be placed your licking, wagging, purring, and adoring persons on this earth to bring me untold joy and happiness, I have one thing I need to say, “It’s 4:30 in the freakin’ morning, assholes!”

note to self- probably won’t work since I don’t think dogs can read. Perhaps should try screaming it loudly tomorrow instead…

Thursday-
  Create a Super Secret Society that is the super-duperest Secret Society to ever exist! The hallmark of membership will be indifference to other members. And anyone who’s not a member. Basically, indifference to everyone ‘cause it’s so insanely secret, no one ever knows who the members are. Hell, I’m not even sure if I’m a member or not!

The Society Crest shall be built around intertwining birds.
note to self- idea needs some work

Friday-
Implement plan to increase page views…

  FULL FRONTAL NUDITY


There. THAT should do it.

Made ya look!

Saturday-
  Contact Dyson guy about idea to apply his technology to adult toys. With a motto like “Nothing sucks like a Dyson” it’s really a no-brainer!

note to self- remember to mention that when designing new Dyson pocket- puddies, need to down-play the “blade” part of the “airblade” technology.

Monday-
  Ask Family Doctor to settle argument between you and hubby about “how early is too early” and whether or not the “AM” or “PM“ is important in the saying, “It‘s 5 o‘clock somewhere.”

note to self- BAD IDEA! Yes, the Doc IS an expert. No, he will neither see the humor in the situation NOR take your side in the argument. He will, however, send you home with a shit-ton of pamphlets.

Tuesday-
  Dodge a million calls from Family Doc checking on the status of your sobriety.

note to self- look for new Family Doc who has a sense of humor and isn’t so damn nosey

  There ya have it, pretty basic stuff really. Sorry guys. I guess I just lead a basically boring life.

  In the spirit of “sharing is caring,” what’s on your list?

PS If you "get" the title? You earn double-triple Bonus points!

PPS The title has absolutely NOTHING to do with anything other than it seemed like a good idea at the time.

PPPS You're welcome!

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