Thursday, August 15, 2013

The ugly truth about Re-Crack

  Good morning! Today I’d like to talk about a serious health problem that has silently been  dividing society for far too long, leaving hundreds, if not millions, of embarrassed individuals living in silent pain and shame. Today, I’m dropping trou on this secret pain in the ass and exposing it for the menace it is. Today, I’d like to discuss the Re-Crack.

  It all started innocently enough. I spent all afternoon helping The Girl design her blog. It was only when I stood up after several hours of sitting that I noticed the problem. It was like the skin in the middle just split right down the seams.

Umm...really? No. Just...no.
  So I did what any normal person would do in this situation, I sat back down and searched the webz for answers. And I found? Exactly NADA.

And HOW would one go about doing this alone?
Or is butt crack shaving more of a couples' bonding experience?
  This left me wondering if I’m the only one who has ever known this pain? Or am I the only one brave enough to bare my problem and probe deeper in search of answers? Am I the only one courageous enough to shine a light in the darkness between what’s polite and the meaty truth? Maybe.

  All I know for certain is this; I canNOT think of anymore butt crack puns!

How the hell is this even related to a Re-Cracked ass-crack!?!
  Seriously though, why is there no flippin’ information on this problem? And what caused it to begin with?

  Hubby seems to think it had something to do with he nylon gym shorts I was wearing. When I was all weirded-out and yelling at him calmly discussing it with him, he mumbled something like, “Blah blah blah doesn’t breathe blah blah blah traps moisture blah blah blah should have been wearing underwear blah blah blah need to let it air out.”

  That last part? I can TOTALLY get behind! (OK, I had one more in me!) Which is why today would NOT be a good day to drop by for a visit. Because today is Pants-Less Thursday! (RELAX already. I just meant I’ll be wearing a skirt and I hate people to see me dressing like a girl and stuff.)

I'm thinking the folks at WebMD may be in need of
a serious anatomy lesson...
  I’m sorry guys, but I gotta ask…What’s the craziest “WebMD won’t even help me” thing you’ve ever dealt with? Maybe...just maybe, we can help each. That way? No one else need ever feel the pain and confusion like that associated with Re-Crack .

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