Sunday, October 6, 2013

Screw Disney, Twitter made my dreams come true!

  Good morning! So it was 3:00 AM and I was basically sleeping. Right up until something that sounded like Godzilla break dancing occurred outside the back door. (And no, I STILL haven’t figured out what in the name of Mothra it was!)

  I’d be annoyed that I was awake that freakin’ early if it wasn’t for two things…

#1  The cat’s must have been sleeping on the stupid computer keyboard (and I wonder why half my keys don’t work?) because my screen was sideways and the pointer thingy was moving backwards. BACKWARDS!
  The lucky part was The Oldest was still awake, so I was able to beg bribe him with chocolate ask him nicely to come fix the thing while I power-brewed coffee the consistency of partially dried mud. (Hey, if I can’t chew it? It ain’t strong enough!)


#2  Somewhere around the unholy hour of 4:00 AM, I was able to do something I have never in the history of ever been able to do; mark every item on my New Year’s Resolutions list complete! (And no, it doesn’t matter if there was only ONE item on the list. It still counts!)

  That’s right, y’all, Vince Offer followed me back on Twitter! *insert lop-sided happy dance here* Which only proves what a good sport the guy is, considering I kinda bashed his movie a teeny, tiny bit.

  And before someone says it, No, I am NOT obsessed! I just happen to think the guy is hilarious.

  Besides, there’s this whole six-degrees thing goin’ on from when The Oldest met him in 2007. He and a group of his friends competed in a Halo Tournament at Convention I-Don’t-Remember-Its-Name. (Yep, it appears the Dweeb gene CAN be passed Mother-to-Son.)

The misspelling was on purpose. The guy on the left,
Team Captain, was concerned about copyright issues.
Also? The likenesses are pretty spot-on.

  Mr. Offer was manning a ShamWow booth, handing out squares of the miracle cloth. He regaled the guys with horror stories about conventions where assholes had soaked the free samples in everything from soda to urine and then threw them at him. (How many ways can we say, “WTF is wrong with people!?!”)

  The fact that Mr. Offer stood there and chatted up a bunch of teenaged geeks (who weren’t even with-it enough to bring me a damn ShamWow square!) even after being the victim of repeated soak-n-runs, seemed pretty darn cool to me.

  And now I have one last thing to thank the guy for; new Twitter terms. (Neither of which I have EVER been guilty of! Just puttin’ that out there…) I was sitting here typing and they just...came to me.

Harashment- The act of harassing the crap out of someone with the overuse of hashtags (#) and/or repeated tagging(@).

Twalking- Tweet-stalking someone. Often done through harashment.

PS Mr. Offer, just wanted to say thanks again for making a mildly creepy, yet decidedly NON-twalker chick, seriously happy this morning. You rock!

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